Firefly in the sunset

In those days, I would wake up inundated with fragmented dreams. There would be particles of afterthoughts in my memory which glowed in the distant horizon. Like those buzzing fireflies. That's where the inspiration for a name came. Not that I enjoyed Entomology, in the least. But these lights used to churn around in my conscience state, and then I had to put it down in the material world. Kind of like, words behind a picture postcard. They tell a story. Everything connects to everything and words weave a web of imagination. And a firefly is in the middle of it all. Sometimes reflecting, sometimes absorbing, but never quite failing to light up the void around. Sometimes the tiny little being would make tangible sense of the material. Like sketching in a perfect symmetry. And sometimes, it would be a jumble of white noise. The frequencies intersecting and giving up a soundless screech. If you would only tune yourself, you could hear the failings. You could make sense of the perfect balance of nature, only if you would follow the trail of the firefly. Or you could watch it disappear into the sunset, where ether mingles with the clouds. The firefly and it's web of sparkles, forming and untangling as the lights change colour.

Are Millennials the entitled children of peace?

A lot has been said about the generation we belong to, namely the millennials. The world we live in, is definitely in a state of flux. Definitions are evolving. Interpretations are changing. Boundaries are blurring. But what exactly makes a millennial tick? How much is technology, a driver in our daily lives today. How has technology expanded our environments, as well as shrunk the world. These are questions which largely flash across our media outlets. We will probably try to look at some these changes through the lens of a millennial.

Let’s begin at the beginning. Let’s begin with the times we live in, the society that millennials are a part of. It wouldn’t be colossally wrong to say that ours is a generation of peace. Most people in our generation have never lived through trying times. We have never been first hand witnesses to war, oppression, discrimination or slavery. Barring off course certain exceptional situations in the Middle East, Korean peninsula or interiors of Africa etc. Ours is not a generation that aspires to the ideals of revolution, dreams of freedom, struggles to change the societal frameworks, living their lives knowing that there might never be a tomorrow. We inherited a largely stable world order post the cold war, eliminating regional skirmishes (there are definitely exceptions like Kashmir which has impacted a larger population for decades, causing mass exodus, spewing hatred). The ideals of democracy is a natural order of things. Probably something we take for granted. Freedom of expression is the new struggle where being assertive, opinionated while being cheeky rules the roost. Take for example, the zomato campaign of OOH hoardings with “MC”, “BC” sprawled across city carrefours (Here “MC” is Mac and Cheese while “BC” is interpreted as Butter Chicken). The struggle now is whether these billboards are offensive to sensibilities. Ask a millennial; most probably the answer would be that it’s cheeky and fun. Not in all cases though, opinions in our world have colors (religious, racial or economic). We will come to that later.

This brings us to the question of technology. How important is technology in the life of a millennial. This is probably a no brainer. I highly doubt if today, we can wake up and not instantly check our social media feeds. Crawling down the facebook, Instagram walls come as naturally as the hygienic need of brushing our teeth. Connectivity is the new big thing. Come to the millennial age, we have fully utilized the phrase that man is a social animal. In order to survive our daily grind, we require relationships, and trapped in the compartmentalized boxes, we turn to the virtual world of social bots. Over and above social, today, almost every aspect of our human experiences is being shaped by technology. May it be shopping (online shopping), education (e-learning systems/modules), sport (gaming technology), relationships (online dating), experiences (travel, gastronomy etc), finances/currency (Blockchain), Healthcare (e-nurses, health apps, bots), almost every dimension is undergoing a rapid makeover, generously peppered with doses of technology. As a consequence, the world as we see it, is shrinking. Distances are a matter of no consequence. A millennial today probably aspires to a world of Tesla manufactured auto driven cars, SpaceX built Martain colonies, Facebook’s VR Oculus Rift. Her highpoints are Apple’s annual product upgrades (iphone range), Amazon’s Alexa launches (AI). As the sizes of desktop slowly shrinks to laptop, then to pads/palmtops and eventually to rolltops, it wouldn’t be a misnomer to quote a millennial today, as a truly evolved sub species of the larger frame of Homo Sapiens. Whether we mutate from this state, metamorphose into a hitherto unknown evolutionary pinnacle, is yet to be seen.

Therefore, probably the apt answer to this primary question of what exactly makes a millennial tick, is technology. Or probably aspiration to achieve, master and control his surroundings through technology. However, aspiration to control is not new to millennials. As a species, homo sapiens desire to dominate and control has in a way written, rewritten, shaped modern contemporary history. So, are we as a generation, as millennials, so very different from our predecessors? The only difference I see, is not the erosion of ethics, values or choices as so many righteous preachers would have us believe. The difference lies in how easily this segment of the population is shifting through experiences. The sheer pace of it, is sometimes unnerving.

The colors in a millennial palette of opinions keep on changing and that is what is worrying sometimes. With the advent and influence of technology, camouflage is gaining prominence. Misinformation, maltreatment, defamation, slander, libel is rampant. Right winged politics, sometimes conservatism (religious or otherwise), dogmatic propaganda is being readily picked up by impressionable young minds more readily than ever. For instance, the affinity of young, educated, dynamic yet radical youth to IS propaganda is truly staggering. Can we say that, until just a year back, the rush of young minds to the charred remains of Syria to associate with so called jihad, stems from the desire to save Islam from infidels or was it a part of the collective millennial dream of making a change, an impact of significance, to alter the world dynamics, or simply to bring a certain meaning to life as they comfortably view it through rose tinted glasses? A distorted view of La vie en rose probably.

In conclusion, much can be said about the so called frivolity of the younger population. However, criticisms apart, the collective conscious of the millennials is not entirely dormant. With newer times, fresher perspectives are coming to the fore. Slowly but surely the archaic divisions existing in the society are losing their hold. Today, the human society is more unified, even virtually. The barriers of race, culture, color, economic class still exist but they are not so severe. Oppressive systems of colonialism, feudalism, despotism seem like a distant nightmare. A millennial today doesn’t identify herself as belonging to a particular caste or color, but chooses her associates irrespective of boundaries. And that is where the beauty of these times lies, somewhere on the edges of inclusion. We have indeed come a long way off.

Trains of Memories

The train was chugging along. Soon, she would hear the porters calling out. 2018. New Delhi junction. Naina was going back where it had all started for her. 12 years after the first time she came to that city. 12 years after she had first met Veer.

The story is rather a simple one. Of love having unexpectedly surfaced at a college campus. Philosophers often say that life is what happens to you, when you’re busy making other plans. The realization hits you one fine day, like a gut wrenching blow. Naina and Veer, had met, become friends, fell hopelessly in love, and had gone on to become strangers with memories. Like so many of us do every single day.

What was it that caused the fissure? Fate? Ego? Anger? Hurt? Resentment? All had piled up in neat little boxes and tucked away in a far corner. When it ended, they had moved to different geographies, worked hard, built different lives for themselves. They had met new people, fell in love again. But deep down the tug at that unfinished desire stilled lingered.

12 years from the time that Veer had stood on the same platform, waiting for her to step down. She could still see him. The sheepish grin on his face, intended to surprise her. Trains and platforms reminded her of him. Much like everything else did. Everything reminded her of him.

It was the halting, wet, waterlogged end of July. A month where the city gets a tad bit of respite from the relentless heat. Arush was tying the knot. He had wanted everyone to be there on his big day. And they had readily complied, not just for him, but for that one last chance at memories before all of them started deviating away. She hoped miserably that Veer would come. It was at the station that she had fought with him the last time. He had wanted her to stay. And she had wanted to flee before she could begin to comprehend her feelings for her best friend.

Naina knew Veer had never forgiven her quitting on him. And she had always been hurt that he hadn’t tried to bring her back. He had never tried for her. She could still see his face as the train had started to depart. His eyes had that haunting look as he stood rock still amidst the cacophony and chaos of the platform. His eyes had never left hers, until she had had to look away to hold back her tears. He had never spoken to her after that. She knew he hated trains because of her. She knew he hated her too.

But did he really? Did he hate her? Veer had disappeared. He had done well, as had she. However, he had practically cut chords with everyone, except maybe Arush. Everyone thought she was the reason. They just hadn’t said it out loud. Maybe she was. She knew she was. Naina had needed to space out from him. And yet, today she had taken the train in the pointless romanticism of finding him there again. Like the last day she had seen him, standing motionless, aloof on the platform, looking at her, looking into her. She had wanted to reverse the clock and go back into that moment, when he was still her Veer.

Life had moved along different paths for her too. Naina had bumped into Sujoy at a coffee shop near the local station. He had come to work on his presentation and she had needed some downtime to think. The button sized place was overflowing as were the streets outside. Mumbai is equally dreary and beautiful in the rains. Arush had called her that morning to apprise her of the fact that Veer had found someone and was thinking of settling down soon. Naina’s collective conscious had screeched to a halt. She had never considered that Veer might love someone else someday. In her mind, he was always hers to love and to keep.

So when Sujoy had walked up to her and struck up a conversation, she had gone through it as if in a trance. Sujoy was a good person. She had ended up hurting him, and herself in the process. He hadn’t deserved it. The relationship had imploded on itself. But Naina knew she was damaged with or without Veer. Or rather, she was damaged except for Veer. When his relationship had ended, as suddenly as hers had, she had made up her mind to amend and atone. Naina had promised herself to find Veer and tell him how mistaken she had been and how much he had meant to her.

When the chance had come to come back to Delhi, she had jumped at the idea of taking a train in the salt pepper nostalgia of old days. Veer was going to be at the wedding, she knew for certain. But would he know her after all this time?

There was an arrival announcement on the intercom. They had jazzed up the old things so much. Trains, like so much of this city lived and moved in parallel dimensions. The old rustic nostalgia of a past that is all but gone. And the new, recent world of updates and automatons. Strange how all their realities often interwove and skipped in between these planes. Nonetheless, the old slumberous thing had finally managed to pull through. She was here. Time had come to touch the air, feel the spices, hear the northern twang in accents. Delhi, at last!

Naina scrambled down and stood on the platform taking it all in. It was strange to be back here after so long, oddly happy and yet equally fragile. Arush was coming to pick her up. He had texted her, surprised by her choice of a train. Who spends precious hours stuck in a railway carriage these days? Memories, she had said. He hadn’t pushed her beyond that.

As she stood there lost in thought, Naina felt a sudden sense of panic. As if, something inside of her was shifting, like a sense of gap that was closing with laborious pain. She snapped up and looked in front. And there he was, standing aloof in the middle of the commotion, looking at her, looking into her. They stood there motionless for a long time, looking at each other. I suppose 12 years of accumulated silt takes time to wash away. As the train pulled out, Veer walked up to her, picked up her bag and walked on ahead. Naina knew she was home at last. She did exactly what she had done that day. She looked at the train, and she looked at Veer. But this time she let her heart lead the way.