All these years...

If I confess today that all these years and there is a tiny part of me that still misses him, I wouldn't be lying. I do. I don't know where he is, he is somewhere around but even after all this time, his yearning knocks against my chest. Like the first day I saw him, a zillion years ago. Like water flowing under the bridge, time has happened to flow away. So much of it, in such a broad gauge. But every time someone turns around and asks me, if he still exists. I say he does. In a heartbeat, in a blink of an eye. At that moment, in that space, he does. In my reality he always does. Life is moving at an unsteady trotter. Each time I see him now, he seems a little more faded. As if quantum of time is eating away at his particles. As if a bell is tolling at an impending ending. Maybe it is time to drift apart. Further still, more distant, into the emptiness of carefully crafted oblivion. I sometimes wonder, how would it be living in a cocoon of unknown. Living like polite acquaintances amidst cases of feather light voluminous history. To get up one day and remember him as an ache that fails to subside. To admit to him to be a bygone.