Early Oblivion

As dusk sets in I look into your eyes sometimes. I have grown used to sitting with you during these melancholic sunsets and watching the lights fade away into the distance. We don't talk on those occasions. Just sit. Assimilate. Feel. Drown. There are days I don't know what you're thinking. Lost. Withdrawn. Guarded.You know, I want to know. I want to get to discover. Probably, it's just a figment of my imagination but sometimes, I feel you're somewhere else, someplace else. As if you're looking for something, breathing for someone else. It is as if, you're not the person I know you to be, but someone else with a different soul altogether. I know I sound like a raving lunatic but there is a part within you that I cannot touch. And that is what terrifies me. I see that distance in your eyes and I stop dead in my tracks. It would not matter had I been a trifle unimaginative myself. But I am not that. I think and I feel. I sense each time you hide behind those walls and bolt the door. I am not allowed in. This is a strange relationship. If one can even call it that. There are so many trapdoors, vaults and secret chambers. Everyday is like an exercise of hunting for an exit. I know there is nothing overtly wrong with us but why do I feel that you're like a caged bird? As if you're swallowing a bitter pill every breathing second. As if you're suffocating yourself to an early oblivion. As if, for you, I am an early oblivion.