Saturday 10 March 2018

Emptiness that stark

How does emptiness exactly feel? It's kind of undefinable in a way. Empty is a void, quite literally. But do voids make your insides churn and burn? Like your entire being, your inner mind is constantly on fire? Fire and this ache of purposelessness. When in a flip of a second, you loose control of the wheel and hit a wall? Has it hit you, quite starkly enroute? Your naivete and her clarity? Clashing and exploding into a cloud of dust.
I think the question is, what does matter? Perfection of a clearly defined line on a piece of paper or the beauty of a scribble hidden in cover page, tucked away in the old book she was reading? Happiness is sometimes like that elusive scrawl on some obscure margin. You look for it everywhere but maybe glimpse it in the simplest of things or maybe in an unlikely person. 
But think about it just this once. Do you want to fight for it? Your simple joys with an unlikely someone? How willing would you be to stray beyond the margins? Because fight you must. Fight, you have to. To save yourself from burning inside. And then maybe on certain days, when you hear her laughing at something you accidentally said, you feel that impulse to hold her there and let the moment stretch. Because, quite simply, you suddenly realize this is the salvation you wished for. Her laughter, the crinkle in the corner of her eyes as she indulgently smiles at you.

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